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Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Changed And Rearranged

We had Josie, and everything was all good. She was developing normally for a regular little girl. Except for a little speech delay all seemed well. I got to wonder and ponder what my daughter's future would be. I got to know this outstanding personality, everyone said she was going be smart like her mom, and that is quite gifted. And I know that she will be fine, though I know that life will be an uphill battle for her as she contends with social awkwardness and difficulty communicating.

But now my new fear is that my younger daughter will have the same, or greater, deficit as her older sister. I know that it is too early to know and that my fear is unfounded but it's something that is on your mind when you have a daughter who is special like Josie. All you want is the best for your kids.

Sofia is a sensitive, fun loving bundle of joy. She is changing every day to try and keep up with her older sister. But somewhere in my paranoid little mind I'm afraid to get to know her. For I fear I will get attached and all will change.... again!

I guess it's pointless to worry about, but I know that my perspective will never be the same.

I love my kids and I 'am' going to always know and accept my children no matter what.
In times like these I try to remember that love comes back to you in different ways when you have kids who are autistic. We are lucky that Josie loves cuddling from time to time.

No matter what Sofia becomes all I want is a cuddle here or there and I will be just fine.

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