Do I Still Want 5 Kids?

I have always wanted 5 children.  I love kids, and I love being surrounded by them and all of the imagination, innocence, craziness and fun that comes with them.  When I was young I loved babysitting, even now I still love babysitting!  Kids are wonderful!


Then...  along came postpartum depression.  I NEVER want to go through that again!  It was like living in hell.  I swore up and down for a couple of months that I was stupid and insane to have children, that nobody in their right minds has kids, and that I would NEVER ever have another child.

And...  along came autism.  Autism is a true stretch of your will, your resources and your patience.  Nobody expects something like this to happen, and it's one of those things that can sneak right up on you, hitting you when you least expect it.

So...  Do I still want 5 kids?  Well, honestly, I don't know.  I don't ever want to go through postpartum depression again.  However, should we have more children, we can take measures to prevent it or at least lessen it's effects.  I worry about having another child with Autism, more on that front later.  I want to fo everything possible for my kids.  Right now I spend a minimum of 15hours a week doing 1-on-1 therapy with Josie, on top of normal mothering of her, and taking care of little Miss Sofia.  At this point, that doesn't leave much time for any other kiddos.

I do worry too that something is going to happen with Sofia.  She's a lot different that Josie was as a baby...  but...  autism is sneaky...  and we have concerns.

However, I'm not ruling out more kids.  But it's on the backburner for now, while I do the best I can for the two I already have!