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Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Postpartum Depression From A Husband's Perspective

    So I thought part two of my blog could be about postpartum depression from the dad's view.

    First I would like to say that Kim had made vast improvements and large steps toward recovery.

   That doesn't mean that it's over, not by a mile. But it's safe to say that it is as real as clinical depression. Like depression it is much more than feeling down, or a bad few days. It's not the blues or feeling bummed. It's a smouldering fire that sucks all of the enjoyment out of life. The only thing that one wants to do is stay in bed all day or be somewhere else. The only problem is that the wanting to be somewhere else is perpetual.

    This is how it was for me, the dad and husband:

     Sofia was born, and everything was pretty good. We were dealing with what we thought was a minor speech delay with Josie.  It was a busy summer, two weddings and countless things to do around the house. To top it all off one of those weddings was Kim's best friends'.

     The tantrums and meltdowns that we thought were caused by Josie's inability to communicate seemed to chip away at my wife. Everyday I got home, the kids were taken care of, but my wife's mood and stress level were worsening and increasing. At some point I stopped getting exited about going home.

    She cried a lot, more than I was used to. I don't know how many times it crossed my mind that Kim might have postpartum depression, but I never voiced my concerns to her.  I only mentioned it once in private to one person a few weeks before her diagnosis.

     I don't remember who mentioned it to Kim, or if she figured it out herself.

     The funny, no, the scary thing about this postpartum depression is how long it went on for before we knew what we were dealing with. I knew something was wrong but didn't want to point it out, I was scared that my wife was truly unhappy with the life we had made with each other. I had no idea how to fix it if she was truly discontent with life.

    It's easy to fall into a trap of thinking that next week will be better. I wish that after the third week of straight hell for Kim I had brought up the notion of postpartum depression. I hope somebody is able to draw wisdom from our experiences.

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